1
00:00:01,232 --> 00:00:02,632
PREVIOUSLY ON
"ACCORDING TO JIM"...

2
00:00:02,633 --> 00:00:05,135
I HAVE A ROMANTIC
ACE IN THE HOLE RIGHT HERE.

3
00:00:05,136 --> 00:00:06,276
IS THAT THE TAPE?

4
00:00:06,277 --> 00:00:07,677
THE MIX TAPE

5
00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:10,240
THAT CHERYL MADE FOR ME
ON OUR THIRD DATE.

6
00:00:10,241 --> 00:00:11,641
AND OVER THE YEARS,

7
00:00:11,642 --> 00:00:13,243
THIS TAPE
BECAME THE SOUNDTRACK

8
00:00:13,244 --> 00:00:15,215
FOR OUR FAIRY TALE
LIVES.

9
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,346
REMEMBER THIS?

10
00:00:16,347 --> 00:00:19,419
OH, MY GOD!
JIM, IS THAT OUR MIX TAPE?

11
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:22,122
YEAH!
THIS IS AMAZING!

12
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,393
LET'S HEAR IT.

13
00:00:23,394 --> 00:00:26,257
OH, HONEY, THAT'S JUST CD.
WE DON'T HAVE A TAPE DECK.

14
00:00:28,399 --> 00:00:30,130
I HAD IT MADE INTO A CD.

15
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,731
IT JUST BOOSTED
ALL THE LEVELS.

16
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,133
IT SOUNDS REALLY CLEAR.

17
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,405
(Man) I LOVE YOU, CHERYL.

18
00:00:35,406 --> 00:00:37,337
THAT'S MY EX-BOYFRIEND CHAD.

19
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,809
WHY IS CHAD ON A MIX TAPE
YOU MADE FOR JIM?

20
00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:42,812
BECAUSE I DIDN'T MAKE IT
FOR JIM.

21
00:00:42,813 --> 00:00:44,674
CHAD MADE IT FOR ME.

22
00:00:44,675 --> 00:00:47,218
♪♪♪

23
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,555
WHY DID YOU GIVE JIM
A MIX TAPE

24
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,527
THAT YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND
MADE FOR YOU?

25
00:00:57,528 --> 00:01:00,390
I DIDN'T. JIM CAME
TO PICK ME UP FOR A DATE,

26
00:01:00,391 --> 00:01:02,263
AND IT WAS JUST SITTING THERE.

27
00:01:05,396 --> 00:01:07,398
"BLUES FOR MY BABY"?

28
00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:13,703
WOW. ALBERT COLLINS.

29
00:01:13,704 --> 00:01:15,805
DELBERT McCLINTON.

30
00:01:15,806 --> 00:01:17,278
ETTA JAMES?

31
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:25,355
CHERYL, THIS IS THE NICEST THING
ANYONE'S EVER MADE FOR ME.

32
00:01:25,356 --> 00:01:27,418
THANK YOU.

33
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,761
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN
THE LOOK ON HIS FACE.

34
00:01:31,762 --> 00:01:33,393
IT REALLY TOUCHED ME.

35
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,365
THE LOOK ON HIS FACE?

36
00:01:35,366 --> 00:01:38,498
CHERYL, COULDN'T YOU JUST GET
A HOUSE FULL OF CATS?

37
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,570
THEY MAKE FACES,
AND THEY'RE CLEAN.

38
00:01:40,571 --> 00:01:42,702
DANA, SERIOUSLY.

39
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,635
I SAW SOMETHING IN JIM
I HADN'T SEEN BEFORE.

40
00:01:45,636 --> 00:01:48,408
I COULDN'T TELL HIM
CHAD MADE THE TAPE FOR ME.

41
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,310
HE WOULD HAVE FELT AWFUL.

42
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,312
WELL, NOT AS AWFUL
AS HE'S GONNA FEEL

43
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,144
WHEN HE HEARS
THE NEW BONUS TRACK...

44
00:01:54,145 --> 00:01:56,146
(imitating Chad)
"I WUV YOU, CHEWYL."

45
00:01:56,147 --> 00:02:00,220
YEAH, I DATED ELMER FUDD.
WE HUNTED WABBITS.

46
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,591
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

47
00:02:01,592 --> 00:02:03,293
GAS TANK FULL
IN THE MINIVAN?

48
00:02:03,294 --> 00:02:05,155
I'M NOT RUNNING AWAY.

49
00:02:05,156 --> 00:02:06,656
ARE YOU SURE, CHERYL?

50
00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:10,730
WOMEN WITH HUSBANDS A LOT BETTER
THAN YOURS DO IT EVERY DAY.

51
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,432
EVEN SO...

52
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,204
OHH.

53
00:02:14,205 --> 00:02:18,239
ALL RIGHT.
HOW ABOUT THIS?

54
00:02:27,318 --> 00:02:29,220
OOPS.
BLENDER ACCIDENT.

55
00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:34,185
HOW IS IT THAT YOU AND JIM
DON'T GET ALONG?

56
00:02:37,428 --> 00:02:40,690
JIM, SOMETHING
HORRIBLE HAPPENED.

57
00:02:40,691 --> 00:02:44,163
HONEY, I LIT A MATCH.

58
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,336
WELL, I WAS MAKING YOU
A SMOOTHIE,

59
00:02:46,337 --> 00:02:48,298
AND THE CD FELL
IN THE BLENDER.

60
00:02:48,299 --> 00:02:50,640
IT'S RUINED FOREVER.

61
00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:53,303
OH, BABY, DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT THAT.

62
00:02:53,304 --> 00:02:54,604
YOU KNOW WHAT?

63
00:02:54,605 --> 00:02:57,707
IT COST THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY
TO MAKE ONE COPY OF THE CD

64
00:02:57,708 --> 00:03:01,181
AS IT WAS TO MAKE 50.

65
00:03:03,354 --> 00:03:05,715
SO I MADE 50,
I SOLD ONE TO ANDY,

66
00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:08,458
AND THE WHOLE THING
PAID FOR ITSELF.

67
00:03:08,459 --> 00:03:12,322
WOW. 50 COPIES, HUH?

68
00:03:12,323 --> 00:03:14,794
WOW, YOU REALLY
THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING.

69
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,967
YOUR MAN IS A GENIUS.

70
00:03:18,769 --> 00:03:22,702
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
AH, YES.

71
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,874
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT ROMANCE.

72
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:27,607
(music playing)

73
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,640
SHALL WE CONTINUE?

74
00:03:30,641 --> 00:03:32,842
WE SHALL.

75
00:03:32,843 --> 00:03:35,315
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?

76
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,717
THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL NIGHT.

77
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,749
I WANT TO DANCE.

78
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:41,351
OKAY, HONEY.

79
00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:44,354
IT'S JUST... I FEEL LIKE
THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD.

80
00:03:44,355 --> 00:03:45,695
WHOA!

81
00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:47,597
HONEY, IT HAS TO BE.

82
00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:48,998
REMEMBER LAST WEEK?

83
00:03:48,999 --> 00:03:52,002
KYLE THOUGHT WE HAD A BEAR
LIVING IN HERE.

84
00:03:58,309 --> 00:04:00,270
OHH! (laughs)

85
00:04:00,271 --> 00:04:02,273
AND DIP.

86
00:04:03,874 --> 00:04:05,275
CHERYL.

87
00:04:05,276 --> 00:04:07,277
CHERYL, COME ON!
YOU ARE HARD TO HANDLE.

88
00:04:07,278 --> 00:04:09,549
OH! (laughs)
YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY?

89
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:13,453
I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER!
TAKE ME NOW!

90
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:18,888
OH, HONEY, THAT IS TOO LOW.
I'M GONNA HEAR MY KNEE CREAK.

91
00:04:18,889 --> 00:04:22,332
(raises volume)

92
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:25,795
OH, CHERYL.
YOU KNOW WHAT?

93
00:04:25,796 --> 00:04:29,369
I SHOULD SAY THIS MORE OFTEN,
BUT...

94
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,642
(Chad) I LOVE YOU, CHERYL.

95
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,855
I LOVE YOU, TOO, JIM.

96
00:04:45,856 --> 00:04:48,488
WHAT WAS THAT?

97
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,660
WELL, YOU SAID
"I LOVE YOU, CHERYL,"

98
00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:53,323
AND I SAID
"I LOVE YOU, TOO."

99
00:04:53,324 --> 00:04:56,466
I DIDN'T SAY
"I LOVE YOU, CHERYL."

100
00:04:56,467 --> 00:04:59,699
WHAT? WHY NOT?

101
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,501
DON'T YOU LOVE ME?

102
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,604
NOW I'M UPSET.

103
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,736
CHERYL, I DID NOT SAY
"I LOVE YOU, CHERYL."

104
00:05:06,737 --> 00:05:08,738
THAT WASN'T ME.

105
00:05:08,739 --> 00:05:12,382
WELL, DO YOU WANT TO ARGUE,
OR DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX?

106
00:05:12,383 --> 00:05:14,814
MMM.

107
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,587
SEX.

108
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,919
WAIT A MINUTE!

109
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:24,355
I AM SURE THAT WASN'T ME
SAYING "I LOVE YOU, CHERYL."

110
00:05:27,998 --> 00:05:30,330
(Chad) I LOVE YOU, CHERYL.

111
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:35,636
I LOVE YOU, CHERYL.

112
00:05:37,768 --> 00:05:40,410
...CHERYL.

113
00:05:40,411 --> 00:05:42,372
OKAY, UM, AHEM.

114
00:05:42,373 --> 00:05:45,014
YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY
EVERY TIME YOU LAUGH,

115
00:05:45,015 --> 00:05:47,517
IT ADDS SEVEN MINUTES
TO YOUR LIFE?

116
00:05:47,518 --> 00:05:50,581
WELL, THIS IS GONNA ADD,
LIKE, TWO WEEKS.

117
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,726
THAT VOICE ON THE TAPE?
IT WAS MY EX-BOYFRIEND CHAD.

118
00:05:56,727 --> 00:05:58,758
(laughing)
'CAUSE... 'CAUSE...

119
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:02,632
WAIT. 'CAUSE I DIDN'T
MAKE THAT TAPE FOR YOU.

120
00:06:02,633 --> 00:06:05,364
CHAD MADE IT FOR ME.

121
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,668
(forced laughter)

122
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:13,473
HONEY, IT DOESN'T WORK IF YOU
KEEP ALL THOSE LAUGHS INSIDE.

123
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,004
COME ON!

124
00:06:15,005 --> 00:06:17,407
CHERYL, BUT YOU GAVE ME
THIS TAPE.

125
00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:22,151
NO. ACTUALLY, YOU FOUND IT
AND ASSUMED IT WAS FOR YOU.

126
00:06:22,152 --> 00:06:25,455
NOW LET'S HAVE A GOOD LAUGH,
THEN GO HAVE SEX.

127
00:06:25,456 --> 00:06:29,089
OH, OH! I KNOW.
AND A SANDWICH.

128
00:06:31,161 --> 00:06:34,894
CHERYL, OUR WHOLE LIVES HAVE
BEEN CENTERED AROUND THIS TAPE,

129
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,826
EVERY SPECIAL MOMENT.

130
00:06:36,827 --> 00:06:40,099
AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME
THIS TAPE IS A LIE?

131
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,572
WHAT ELSE IN OUR LIFE
IS A LIE?

132
00:06:42,573 --> 00:06:46,005
THE CHILDREN...
ARE THEY MINE?

133
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:49,078
I KNEW THEY WERE
TOO GOOD-LOOKING.

134
00:06:49,079 --> 00:06:52,111
JIM, I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE
TOLD YOU ABOUT THE TAPE,

135
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,983
BUT YOU LOVED IT SO MUCH.

136
00:06:53,984 --> 00:06:55,985
AND YOU KNOW,
THE MORE WE LISTENED TO IT,

137
00:06:55,986 --> 00:06:58,087
THE MORE IT REALLY
DID BECOME OUR TAPE.

138
00:06:58,088 --> 00:06:59,689
PLEASE BELIEVE ME.

139
00:06:59,690 --> 00:07:03,693
I'D LIKE TO BELIEVE YOU...
IF I KNEW WHO YOU WERE!

140
00:07:03,694 --> 00:07:04,824
JIM!

141
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,996
SERIOUSLY, CHERYL,
FOR ALL I KNOW,

142
00:07:06,997 --> 00:07:11,501
YOU COULD BE REPORTING OUR WHOLE
LIFE TO YOUR HANDLER IN MOSCOW.

143
00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:13,963
I AM NOT A COMMUNIST SPY.

144
00:07:13,964 --> 00:07:17,637
OH, RIGHT...
CONRAD.

145
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,610
IT'S COMRADE.

146
00:07:20,611 --> 00:07:23,613
AHA! YOU TELL MOTHER RUSSIA

147
00:07:23,614 --> 00:07:26,015
I'M JUST A LITTLE
TOO SMART FOR HER.

148
00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:29,048
DID YOU EVEN LISTEN
TO YOURSELF?

149
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,481
JIM, NOW...
OH, COME ON, HONEY.

150
00:07:31,482 --> 00:07:35,154
CAN'T WE JUST FORGET THIS
AND RESUME A ROMANTIC EVENING?

151
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,086
CHERYL, I WILL BE
IN THE BACKYARD

152
00:07:37,087 --> 00:07:38,928
DESTROYING THESE CDs.

153
00:07:38,929 --> 00:07:40,891
THE DREAM IS DEAD.

154
00:07:45,896 --> 00:07:50,600
OH... MY... GOD.

155
00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:53,774
THERE NEVER WAS A SMOOTHIE,
WAS THERE?

156
00:08:03,053 --> 00:08:05,055
(playing blues)

157
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:10,019
SOUNDED PRETTY GOOD.

158
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:11,761
YEAH,
WE SOUNDED PRETTY GOOD.

159
00:08:11,762 --> 00:08:13,262
YOU STOPPED SINGING
HALFWAY THROUGH

160
00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:15,094
AND JUST STARED
AT YOUR SHOES.

161
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:18,669
IT'S A BLUES SONG.
I GOT DEPRESSED.

162
00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:21,971
WHAT DO YOU GUYS
WANT TO PLAY NEXT?

163
00:08:21,972 --> 00:08:23,633
HOW ABOUT "IF YOU LOVE ME
LIKE YOU SAY"?

164
00:08:23,634 --> 00:08:25,134
PICK ANOTHER SONG.

165
00:08:25,135 --> 00:08:27,276
UM, WHAT ABOUT
"I WANT YOUR LOVE"?

166
00:08:27,277 --> 00:08:28,808
LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE.

167
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,610
HOW ABOUT "I'M WITH YOU"?

168
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:33,142
LET'S JUST PICK
ANOTHER DAMN SONG!

169
00:08:33,143 --> 00:08:35,214
OH, I GET IT.

170
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,748
THOSE SONGS
MAKE YOU MISS CHAD.

171
00:08:42,853 --> 00:08:45,054
I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE.

172
00:08:45,055 --> 00:08:47,056
YEAH, I KNOW, BUT THEY'RE
YOUR FRIENDS, JIM.

173
00:08:47,057 --> 00:08:49,058
I THOUGHT THEY MIGHT
HEAL YOUR PAIN.

174
00:08:49,059 --> 00:08:51,061
ALSO I THOUGHT
IT'D BE REALLY FUNNY.

175
00:08:53,604 --> 00:08:56,606
COME ON, WHAT DOES IT MATTER
WHO MADE SOME STUPID MIX TAPE?

176
00:08:56,607 --> 00:08:59,739
I DON'T KNOW, GUYS.

177
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,271
JIM, IF I MAY...

178
00:09:02,272 --> 00:09:04,875
MAN, THIS IS JUST LIKE
"FLASHDANCE."

179
00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:08,818
FLASHDANCE GETS INTO A BIG
BALLET COMPANY,

180
00:09:08,819 --> 00:09:11,550
AND THEN SHE REALIZES
IT'S ALL BECAUSE

181
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,153
HER RICH BOYFRIEND
PULLED SOME STRINGS.

182
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,285
IS THAT IT, JIM?

183
00:09:16,286 --> 00:09:18,759
IS IT LIKE "FLASHDANCE"?

184
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,292
KIND OF.

185
00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:25,294
WHAT DID FLASHDANCE DO?

186
00:09:25,295 --> 00:09:28,067
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT SHE DID.

187
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:31,270
SHE PUT ON SOME LEG WARMERS
AND DANCED HER HEART OUT.

188
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,843
THERE YOU GO, JIM,
THE ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS.

189
00:09:33,844 --> 00:09:35,174
OH, COME ON.

190
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,607
GO AHEAD, JIM.
BE A MANIAC.

191
00:09:37,608 --> 00:09:40,780
YOU GUYS AREN'T
HELPING ME AT ALL!

192
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,752
KNOCK IT OFF!
COME ON!

193
00:09:42,753 --> 00:09:46,585
JIM, YOU CAN'T EXPECT US
NOT TO LAUGH AT THIS STORY.

194
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,357
YOU DON'T KNOW
THE WHOLE STORY.

195
00:09:48,358 --> 00:09:50,259
NEITHER DOES CHERYL.

196
00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:51,991
AND I'M GONNA TELL HER.

197
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,994
ANDY, THE DOOR.

198
00:09:58,669 --> 00:10:00,671
WHAT A FEELING!

199
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:11,340
CHERYL?
WE NEED TO TALK.

200
00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:14,013
I KNOW, HONEY. I SHOULD HAVE
TOLD YOU ABOUT THE TAPE.

201
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,645
NO, NO, NO.
STOP RIGHT THERE.

202
00:10:15,646 --> 00:10:17,887
THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN
WANTING TO GET OFF MY CHEST.

203
00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:20,750
I WAS HOPING I'D NEVER
HAVE TO TELL YOU,

204
00:10:20,751 --> 00:10:23,993
BUT THERE'S ANOTHER REASON
THAT TAPE IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

205
00:10:23,994 --> 00:10:25,224
WHOO!

206
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,226
PARTY!

207
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,799
OKAY. SUZY, SIT DOWN.
SIT DOWN.

208
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,031
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
YOU SIT TIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

209
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,765
I GOTTA GO TALK TO THIS CHICK
CHERYL FOR A SECOND.

210
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,809
HEY, WHAT'S A SENSITIVE WAY
OF SAYING

211
00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:43,042
"I'M DUMPING YOU
'CAUSE YOU WON'T PUT OUT"?

212
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:46,315
I WOULDN'T KNOW.

213
00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:48,778
OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T.

214
00:10:48,779 --> 00:10:50,951
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE.

215
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:55,654
HEY.

216
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,186
(imitating Jack Nicholson
as The Joker)

217
00:10:57,187 --> 00:11:00,060
WAIT'LL THEY GET
A LOAD OF ME.

218
00:11:02,693 --> 00:11:04,193
WHAT?

219
00:11:04,194 --> 00:11:07,266
THE JOKER FROM "BATMAN."
DON'T YOU GET IT?

220
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:10,941
OH, RIGHT.
IT'S HILARIOUS.

221
00:11:13,343 --> 00:11:16,045
HEY, MR. QUEENIE.

222
00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:17,046
FEENEY.

223
00:11:17,047 --> 00:11:19,108
FEENEY.

224
00:11:19,109 --> 00:11:21,311
I REALLY LOVE CATS.

225
00:11:22,813 --> 00:11:25,755
HEY, CHERYL, I WAS THINKING...

226
00:11:25,756 --> 00:11:27,016
ME TOO.

227
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:28,317
(music playing)

228
00:11:28,318 --> 00:11:30,389
IS THAT ETTA JAMES PLAYING?

229
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,021
OH, IT'S A MIX TAPE.

230
00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:36,065
IF IT WEREN'T FOR THAT TAPE,
I WOULD HAVE SAID "I'M THINKING

231
00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:38,167
"WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE
WHO AREN'T EACH OTHER.

232
00:11:38,168 --> 00:11:41,000
"HASTA LA VISTA, BABY."

233
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,472
YOU WERE GONNA DUMP ME?

234
00:11:43,473 --> 00:11:45,474
YEAH.

235
00:11:45,475 --> 00:11:48,477
I MEAN, I FIGURED
WE'D PART AS FRIENDS

236
00:11:48,478 --> 00:11:50,479
AND LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN

237
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,883
FOR A 2 A.M. BOOTY CALL,
YOU KNOW?

238
00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:55,915
WOW.

239
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,116
WOW, YEAH.

240
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,487
WELL, I JUST THOUGHT

241
00:11:58,488 --> 00:12:01,020
YOU DESERVED TO KNOW
THE WHOLE STORY.

242
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,421
NO MORE SECRETS.

243
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,394
RIGHT. GOOD.

244
00:12:05,395 --> 00:12:09,328
YOU KNOW, UM, AS LONG
AS WE'RE BEING HONEST,

245
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,001
THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU SHOULD KNOW.

246
00:12:12,002 --> 00:12:13,462
OKAY, HOW'S THAT?

247
00:12:13,463 --> 00:12:15,204
I THINK IT NEEDS
TO BE HIGHER.

248
00:12:15,205 --> 00:12:17,506
I WANT TO LOOK JUST LIKE
DEBBIE GIBSON.

249
00:12:17,507 --> 00:12:19,909
WELL, YOU CAN
HAVE HER PONYTAIL,

250
00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:23,142
BUT ONLY GOD HANDS OUT
THAT KIND OF TALENT.

251
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,976
OH, I CAN'T WAIT
FOR HER SECOND ALBUM.

252
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,950
CAN WE GO ALREADY?

253
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:33,182
WRESTLEMANIA II STARTS
IN LESS THAN AN HOUR,

254
00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:35,154
AND THIS HULKAMANIAC
DOESN'T WANT TO BE

255
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,156
IN THE BACK OF THE LINE
WITH ALL THE LOSERS.

256
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,358
YEAH, YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS
SHOULD PROBABLY GO ANYWAY,

257
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,360
'CAUSE JIM'S GONNA BE HERE
TO PICK ME UP SOON.

258
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,963
OH, RELAX, CHERYL.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE

259
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,966
HANGING AROUND YOU
THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

260
00:12:48,298 --> 00:12:50,439
(imitating Hulk Hogan)
WHAT YOU GONNA DO, BROTHER?

261
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:51,971
HUH? WHAT YOU GONNA DO

262
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,975
WHEN THE LARGEST ARMS
IN THE WORLD GO WILD ON YOU?

263
00:12:56,476 --> 00:13:00,309
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
THE BACK STAIRS?

264
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:02,781
WANT ME TO SHOW YOU
THE ATOMIC LEG DROP?

265
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,083
DON'T TOUCH ME!

266
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,386
DON'T WORRY, MR. FEENEY.
ONE DAY I'LL GET MARRIED

267
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,819
AND TAKE YOU AWAY
FROM THOSE TWO.

268
00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:12,521
(telephone ringing)

269
00:13:12,522 --> 00:13:15,524
HELLO?
OH, HEY, MOM.

270
00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:19,098
NOTHING. I'M JUST WAITING
FOR THAT GUY JIM TO PICK ME UP.

271
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:23,032
I DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY BACK
TO THE ARCADE TO PLAY FROGGER.

272
00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:26,105
YEAH, I KNOW. I'M BREAKING UP
WITH HIM TONIGHT.

273
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,406
HE'S CUTE,

274
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:30,539
BUT I JUST REALLY WANT A GUY
WITH MORE DEPTH, YOU KNOW?

275
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:35,214
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. I'M TOTALLY
GONNA GIVE HIM DANA'S NUMBER.

276
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,086
(knock on door)

277
00:13:37,087 --> 00:13:40,389
OKAY, I GOTTA GO. OKAY.
BYE-BYE.

278
00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:43,452
EXCUSE ME, MR. FEENEY.

279
00:13:43,453 --> 00:13:46,025
(Cheryl) I REALLY THOUGHT
I WAS GONNA BREAK UP WITH YOU,

280
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,157
BUT I JUST WASN'T SURE.

281
00:13:48,158 --> 00:13:49,428
HEY.

282
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:54,563
WAIT'LL THEY GET
A LOAD OF ME.

283
00:13:54,564 --> 00:13:56,265
(Cheryl) I KNEW I WAS
MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION

284
00:13:56,266 --> 00:13:59,238
WHEN YOU DID
THE WHOLE "BATMAN" THING.

285
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,940
BUT THEN YOU FOUND THE TAPE,

286
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,942
AND I SAW
A WHOLE NEW SIDE OF YOU.

287
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:06,115
I MEAN, THE WAY YOU TALKED
ABOUT MUSIC MADE ME REALIZE

288
00:14:06,116 --> 00:14:08,517
THERE WAS A DEPTH TO YOU
I JUST HADN'T SEEN BEFORE.

289
00:14:08,518 --> 00:14:10,519
THIS MUSIC IS SO GREAT.

290
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,383
I MEAN, THIS IS POWERFUL
AND SEXY AND PASSIONATE AND...

291
00:14:14,384 --> 00:14:18,257
IT'S HONEST, IT'S RAW,
IT'S PAINFUL, IT'S HUMOROUS.

292
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,489
IT'S JUST...
WHEN I LISTEN TO IT,

293
00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:23,393
I JUST FEEL IT
ALL THROUGH MY BODY.

294
00:14:25,395 --> 00:14:28,367
I CAN'T TELL YOU
WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME.

295
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:32,871
I STARTED THINKING
"I'M NOT GONNA DUMP THIS GUY.

296
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,444
"I'M GONNA FALL FOR THIS GUY."

297
00:14:35,445 --> 00:14:37,476
AND I DID.

298
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,150
KEEP THOSE LIPS
AWAY FROM ME, JEZEBEL!

299
00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,053
WHAT'S WRONG?

300
00:14:44,054 --> 00:14:45,985
YOU WERE GONNA DUMP ME?

301
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,287
WELL, YOU WERE GONNA DUMP ME,
TOO, REMEMBER?

302
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:51,520
I WAS LYING!

303
00:14:51,521 --> 00:14:54,994
HEY, TONY! GUESS WHERE
I'M CALLING YOU FROM.

304
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,266
THE CAR.

305
00:14:57,267 --> 00:15:00,499
YEAH, ON MY NEW
CELL-U-LAR PHONE.

306
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:04,403
HEY, LISTEN, I'M NOT GONNA
MAKE BAND PRACTICE TONIGHT.

307
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,375
I GOT A DATE WITH CHERYL.

308
00:15:06,376 --> 00:15:10,379
I KNOW. I KNOW THE BAND IS
ON THE BRINK OF GREATNESS,

309
00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:12,512
BUT CHERYL'S
A STONE-COLD FOX.

310
00:15:14,644 --> 00:15:18,248
YEAH. WELL, I JUST HOPE
SHE'S AS INTO IT AS I AM.

311
00:15:19,489 --> 00:15:22,952
WHAT?
OH, THAT'S HYSTERICAL!

312
00:15:22,953 --> 00:15:26,425
YEAH, I'LL USE IT.

313
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,529
WAIT'LL THEY GET
A LOAD OF ME.

314
00:15:31,701 --> 00:15:33,703
YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S GONNA KILL.

315
00:15:35,505 --> 00:15:37,506
YOUR FEELINGS GET HURT,

316
00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:39,538
SO YOU MAKE SOMETHING UP
TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD?

317
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,640
I WASN'T TRYING TO MAKE YOU
FEEL BAD, CHERYL.

318
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,243
I WAS TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF
FEEL BETTER.

319
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,516
WELL, NOW WE BOTH FEEL BAD.
ARE WE EVEN?

320
00:15:47,517 --> 00:15:49,518
WELL, TECHNICALLY...

321
00:15:49,519 --> 00:15:53,422
YOU LIED ABOUT THE TAPE,
AND THEN YOU WERE GONNA DUMP ME.

322
00:15:53,423 --> 00:15:55,424
SO YOU'RE AHEAD,
TWO TO ONE.

323
00:15:55,425 --> 00:15:59,688
YOU DIDN'T STOP DOIN' THAT
BATMAN THING FOR FIVE YEARS.

324
00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:02,032
TRUST ME. WE'RE EVEN.

325
00:16:05,535 --> 00:16:10,039
WAIT'LL THEY GET
A LOAD OF ME.

326
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,672
YOU'RE NUTS.
THAT'S FUNNY.

327
00:16:19,009 --> 00:16:20,109
HEY.

328
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:21,751
HEY.

329
00:16:25,115 --> 00:16:26,555
WHATCHA READIN'?

330
00:16:26,556 --> 00:16:29,388
"THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES."

331
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,060
OH, GOOD.

332
00:16:31,061 --> 00:16:35,394
SOMEBODY'S GOTTA KEEP AN EYE
ON THOSE BEES.

333
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,626
THEM AND THE DOLPHINS.

334
00:16:37,627 --> 00:16:41,670
THEY'RE ALWAYS SMILIN'
LIKE THEY KNOW SOMETHIN'.

335
00:16:41,671 --> 00:16:45,034
MAYBE THEY'RE
COMMUNIST SPIES, JIM.

336
00:16:45,035 --> 00:16:48,307
OH, CHERYL.

337
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,439
CHERYL...

338
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,682
UH, LOOK...

339
00:16:53,683 --> 00:16:57,015
MAKING UP THAT STORY
ABOUT DUMPING YOU

340
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,548
WAS A ROTTEN THING TO DO.

341
00:16:59,549 --> 00:17:01,550
BUT I NEED SOME HELP HERE,
CHERYL.

342
00:17:01,551 --> 00:17:05,224
I'M STUCK.
I CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS.

343
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:07,226
THIS THING ABOUT CHAD
AND THIS TAPE AND...

344
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,499
JIM, THAT TAPE'S
NOT IMPORTANT NOW.

345
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:14,103
WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS YOU AND ME
AND THE LIFE WE BUILT TOGETHER.

346
00:17:14,104 --> 00:17:17,506
I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT EVER SINCE
WE STARTED DATING,

347
00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:19,768
I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE
AS HOT FOR ME AS I WAS FOR YOU.

348
00:17:19,769 --> 00:17:24,143
AND I HAD A MIX TAPE
OF LOVE SONGS TO PROVE IT.

349
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:30,048
AND NOW,
THE PROOF IS JUST A LIE.

350
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:33,822
OH, HONEY, I MEAN,

351
00:17:33,823 --> 00:17:36,155
IS IT REALLY A LIE, OR...

352
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:40,689
IS IT JUST TWO PEOPLE
TRYING TO MAKE A CONNECTION?

353
00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:44,563
SO I TOLD YOU
I MADE YOU THAT TAPE.

354
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,696
I ALSO TOLD YOU
I LIKE SPORTS.

355
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:52,571
THAT'S TRUE.

356
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,604
AND I TOLD YOU
I LOVE CATS.

357
00:17:57,647 --> 00:17:59,448
AND I ALSO SAID
THAT I WANTED

358
00:17:59,449 --> 00:18:01,510
TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER
BEFORE WE SLEPT TOGETHER.

359
00:18:01,511 --> 00:18:03,282
(laughs)

360
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,783
OH, HONEY.

361
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:08,817
OH, IF I COULD
GO BACK IN TIME

362
00:18:08,818 --> 00:18:11,660
AND MAKE THAT TAPE FOR YOU,
I WOULD.

363
00:18:11,661 --> 00:18:14,123
WE JUST CAN'T
CHANGE THE PAST.

364
00:18:14,124 --> 00:18:18,627
I KNOW. I KNOW
I'M BEING RIDICULOUS.

365
00:18:18,628 --> 00:18:21,230
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

366
00:18:21,231 --> 00:18:23,702
WE LOVE EACH OTHER,
AND OUR MARRIAGE IS PERFECT.

367
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,434
IT REALLY IS.

368
00:18:25,435 --> 00:18:28,137
EXCEPT FOR THAT DAMN
MIX TAPE WITH CHAD!

369
00:18:28,138 --> 00:18:30,279
YOU ARE NOT GONNA
LET THIS GO, ARE YOU?

370
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,281
I WANT TO. IF I COULD,
I WOULD, HONEY,

371
00:18:32,282 --> 00:18:34,283
BUT, YOU KNOW, MY MIND
WON'T LET ME LET IT GO,

372
00:18:34,284 --> 00:18:36,286
AND MY HANDS ARE TIED.

373
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,553
CAN'T GET IN THERE.

374
00:18:44,554 --> 00:18:48,827
GOD, JIM,
IT WAS SO LONG AGO.

375
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,459
I KNOW, I KNOW.

376
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:53,702
IT WAS
A REALLY LONG TIME AGO.

377
00:18:53,703 --> 00:18:57,566
I MEAN, IT WAS SO LONG AGO,

378
00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:59,768
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF WE'RE REMEMBERING IT RIGHT.

379
00:18:59,769 --> 00:19:02,571
REALLY?

380
00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:06,215
YEAH, I MEAN,
NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT,

381
00:19:06,216 --> 00:19:08,647
IT REALLY BUGGED ME
THAT YOU WENT ON AND ON

382
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,180
ABOUT THAT STUPID TAPE,
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

383
00:19:11,181 --> 00:19:14,483
THE PURPLE SWEATER
I WORE JUST FOR YOU.

384
00:19:14,484 --> 00:19:16,456
WHAT PURPLE SWEATER?

385
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:20,689
THE ONE I WORE
ON OUR FIRST DATE.

386
00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:22,331
AND YOU REALLY,
REALLY LIKED IT,

387
00:19:22,332 --> 00:19:25,364
SO I WORE IT THAT NIGHT
ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.

388
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:28,637
I DON'T REMEMBER
ANY PURPLE SWEATER.

389
00:19:28,638 --> 00:19:31,440
OKAY. OKAY.

390
00:19:31,441 --> 00:19:33,803
DO YOU REMEMBER STARING
AT MY BOOBS?

391
00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:39,808
I DIDN'T THINK
YOU NOTICED.

392
00:19:39,809 --> 00:19:43,613
YEAH. CAN YOU GO BACK
AND PICTURE THEM?

393
00:19:44,954 --> 00:19:46,955
OH, PURPLE SWEATER!

394
00:19:46,956 --> 00:19:48,857
RIGHT!

395
00:19:48,858 --> 00:19:52,361
RIGHT, AND I WORE IT
THAT NIGHT BECAUSE...

396
00:19:52,362 --> 00:19:54,793
BECAUSE YOU WERE AS HOT FOR ME
AS I WAS FOR YOU.

397
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,825
YES.

398
00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:58,827
SO IT WASN'T
ABOUT THE TAPE AT ALL.

399
00:19:58,828 --> 00:20:01,830
HONEY, THE TAPE WAS JUST
BACKGROUND MUSIC

400
00:20:01,831 --> 00:20:03,372
FOR THE SWEATER.

401
00:20:03,373 --> 00:20:06,935
RIGHT.
THE PURPLE SWEATER.

402
00:20:06,936 --> 00:20:10,479
I'M BLOWN AWAY.

403
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,682
NO ONE'S EVER
GOTTEN ME BEFORE.

404
00:20:16,686 --> 00:20:18,217
THANK YOU.

405
00:20:19,789 --> 00:20:21,790
YOU WANNA DANCE?

406
00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:24,594
WELL, AREN'T WE GOIN' OUT?

407
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,998
IT CAN WAIT.

408
00:20:45,775 --> 00:20:47,446
I LIKE
THE SWEATER STORY.

409
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,319
WELL, IT IS THE BEGINNING

410
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,321
OF OUR FAIRY-TALE LIFE
TOGETHER.

411
00:20:52,322 --> 00:20:53,722
THAT'S A GOOD SWEATER.

412
00:20:53,723 --> 00:20:55,724
YEAH.

413
00:20:55,725 --> 00:20:58,557
IT GOT ME A HUSBAND,
AND IT WAS INCREDIBLY WARM.

414
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,729
WE GOTTA GET
ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE.

415
00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,331
WHERE DID YOU GET IT?

416
00:21:02,332 --> 00:21:05,534
UM... OH.

417
00:21:05,535 --> 00:21:10,370
OH, MY GOD, CHAD,
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

418
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:16,445
I LOVE YOU, CHERYL.

419
00:21:16,446 --> 00:21:17,576
YOU KNOW,

420
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:20,709
I'LL NEVER GET TIRED
OF HEARING THAT.

421
00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:23,452
MY MOM GAVE IT TO ME.
OH.

422
00:21:23,453 --> 00:21:25,884
REMIND ME TO THANK HER.

423
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,456
YEAH, DON'T BOTHER.

424
00:21:27,457 --> 00:21:29,459
NO?
NO.`